Sunday, October 20, 2013

Scared Yet Excited

In t-minus 22 hours, I will be starting a new position in the company I work for. It's a completely different facility, with completely different people (obviously). I'm so fucking scared. It's terrifying. I'm moving on to bigger and better things, but I wasn't expecting it at the ripe old age of 22.

My 23rd birthday is in a week. I feel like I have been extremely blessed I guess you could say, but I am an atheist so I say that lightly. I've just been very, very lucky. Not many people my age have it all together yet, shit I don't even have it all together, but I'm very close.

I had a new coworker go all "therapy" on me last night when I was telling her about my relationship. That was weird, and it made me start to question everything. I mean, fucking everything. I have a lot of learning to do, and I know that, I just wish I could flash forward a few years and see how this pans out.

Honestly, if this relationship doesn't work then it just doesn't. I have given it my all since day 1. I know that, and I'm proud of myself for not giving up. I might regret that later on, but it will only be for a short time. It'll be a lesson in the end if it ends. I just kind of take it day by day right now. I mean, I kind of have to with my boyfriend being on the other side of the country... The fact that we haven't given up yet.. that he hasn't given up has said a lot.

I came to write this and talk about my new job and my feelings on it, but I guess I was feeling a little more emotion towards the whole situation with the coworker. In the end, I feel like I'm doing the right thing. I'm happy and I think in the end that's all that matters.

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