Monday, December 17, 2012

Life Lessons

I work with a favor.. unsavory, I guess you could say, coworker. She's constantly belittling those around, and just being all kinds of negative. That really brings down my mood and makes me not enjoy going to work when I know I'm going to have to be around her. I guess there are people like this in every work place though, but you know there's a problem when everyone on your shift can't stand you.

I think there is a reason God is putting this woman in my life, and having me be around her. I know I'm not walking my walk like I really should because let's be honest: modern times makes it so very easy to stray from our Christian walk. Everything is so fast paced and we're such a "give me, give me" culture that it is hard to stray from the "norm".

Anyway, I think he's trying to teach me to look at everyone with a kinder heart. I think he wants me to, even though she's trifling and rude, try and just be nice to her. God knows I don't want to go out of my way for her, and hell, she probably won't even appreciate it, but all that doesn't matter. It doesn't matter how she takes my kindness, that's with her own struggles with God. I do pray for the Sacred Heart of Jesus AND Mary, so I feel like this is something he is really trying to make me take home.

I need to be a better person, in fact, we could all use a little more "bettering" (haha), but seriously, aren't we taught to love thy neighbour, as well as, treating others we want to be treated? I think we all need to step up to the plate and kind of just go out of our way to show a little bit of kindness and compassion to one another. So, let's start today, shall we?

Thursday, November 22, 2012


Since it's been Thanksgiving for about 30 minutes, and I'm stuck at work without the ability to spend this holiday with my parents I guess I should blog about the things I AM thankful for.

  • God granting me the right to wake up and see the wonders he has blessed us all with.
  • My wonderful family.
  • My absolutely perfect friends.
  • My dog.
  • A roof over my head.
  • A job that I'm happy to do, and that makes me feel like I'm doing some sort of good in the world.
  • A good income to afford things I want.
  • Coworkers that go out of their way for each other.
  • The ability to know God has blessed me in each and every way he can.
  • The knowledge of God's love for me; that he sent his only son to die for my sins.
I need to take some time out of my schedule to set aside for volunteering. I need to help out the less fortunate because I have the ability and want to do so. I need to go out of my way for them because I would only hope that if I was in their position, someone would do the same for me.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone. <3

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Lions, Tigers, and... Demons? Oh my!

I don't know how many people I've told this story to over the years, but I have to kind of give background about what's going on now, so here goes.

I moved to Denton, TX for college in July of 2010. When I was in the process of moving from my parents house, I got real into Chrisitianity. I was reading my bible, praying, and actually making an effort to hear God's word and revolve my life around Him. I've always struggled with my beliefs, and this time honestly was no different.

About a month or so after the move, I started having nightmares. In these nightmares I would be with people when all of a sudden, their face would contort, and in my dream they were possessed by demons. These dreams got increasingly worse as the days went by, and I eventually was terrified to fall asleep because of these dreams. The last one I had, I called my mom crying because I was so scared. She agreed to come the next day and we went to a store that specializes in the occult so to say, and they listened to what she had to say and gave me stones to place around the room my bed was in, as well as, stones to place in my pillow. I keep those in my pillow to this day, by the way. A little while after the stones came, I started questioning if whether I really believed in God or not. I realised that, at that time, I didn't and immediately came out as an Atheist. I will admit, after that happened the dreams stopped. Completely.

Flash forward to 2012, where I met this absolutely beautiful, amazing woman who introduced me to Catholicism. I discussed my journey a couple of blog posts ago. Anyways, a couple of weeks ago the dreams started again. I have a rosary bracelet to remind me to pray the rosary, as well as show others my Catholicism without wearing a crucifix on a necklace. Anyway, for a few days there I stopped wearing it while I was sleeping (keep in mind the only time I usually take the bracelet off is to shower). I would ponder why these dreams were happening when I decided to make sure I put my bracelet back on before I went to sleep to see if it helped, long story short it did. Also, while the dreams have been going on, I've had an increase in an uneasy feeling while I'm upstairs, one night I woke up and could have sworn that I heard someone moving downstairs (and it wasn't Harlow in her cage), and things have gone missing which is more annoying than anything else.

I went home last Monday because my mom found out she had a bought of skin cancer on her leg, of course I couldn't NOT be there for her. While I was home, my sleep was undisturbed by nightmares, except for when I purposely didn't wear my rosary bracelet. Anyway, I came home last night and stayed up pretty late because I knew I had to sleep all day for work tonight. While I was sleeping, I was plagued by the dreams again. I would wake up and be so tired that I would immediately fall back into a nightmare fueled sleep. While dreaming, I do remember trying to recite the Lord's Prayer, I didn't recite it very well, and I don't really remember if it worked, but I'm hoping that it will.

Tonight at work, I decided to look up what exactly it all means. Spiritual warfare, plain and simple. I'm also terrified by all this because last time the demons won. I shut myself off from God, and I can't do that. At all. Prayers would be wonderful, as always. :)

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Social Networking was kind of taken over my life.

The other day, Thursda I think, I decided to deactivate my facebook. The negativity I have come across on that site from the election as well as being a part of the LGBT community, I was just so very, very tired. Also, I'm tired of people being too far into my personal business. I was just more than okay with sharing all of these private things with the whole world, I mean, I guess I still am, but that's not the point.

I used to have to check facebook so often. I can't even say how often I was on the site in one day. It took up so much of my time and energy. A couple of months ago I decided to take a break from it, so I did for about a week and then I was back to it stronger than ever, but this is the first time I've actually deactivated it.

I stopped going on twitter as much as well. The only sites I'm using since getting rid of facebook are tumblr and instagram. Who knows how long those are going to last being used in my life. I always need some place to kind of vent so I'll keep tumblr for that possibly, but I don't know. We shall see.

Since weening myself off social networking I feel so much better about myself. I'm not wasting my life trying to see what people I probably don't even care about are doing. Sure, it's awesome to use facebook to catch up, but I was just friends with so many people from high school and a good majority of them I wasn't even bothered with in high school, so why start now?

I'm especially happy that I won't be getting upset over what someone posts that significantly differs from my opinion. I know we all have opinions, but when all I see someone post is something that differs what I believe I get annoyed. Don't even get me started on those people who are rude about our differing opinions.

I was also beginning to become friends with a lot of guys that quite honestly creeped me the fuck out. I don't want to date anyone. I'm in love with someone and regardless of how our relationship is, it would never be fair to someone else, let alone myself, to try and get into something when I'm not all there. It has taken me a long time to come to those terms, to realize I don't need to rush things, to just slow down my life and relationships, so I'm not going to contradict everything that I've worked so hard for.

I don't have to worry with any of that anymore. I may activate my facebook again some day, but right now I don't need it in my life. God will provide those people who care about me in my life with the means to reach me. I do have a cell. :)

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Is Catholicism such a bad thing?

I have been converting to Catholicism for the past month or so. I started going to Mass, praying everyday, and have even spent the time decorating my place with various religious items. I'm super serious about this Catholicism thing. This is the first time in my entire life that a religion has made me feel happy, whole, and loved.

Before I started converting, I identified as an Atheist. Honestly, I get more questions asking "why?" now than I did when I was an Atheist. I'm tired of being questioned why when it comes to Catholicism. I know it is strict and, looking in from the outside, it isn't the best denomination to get behind, but it makes me happy. I'm not doing this for anyone else BUT MYSELF. I am so very, very tired of the questions though. Ask me about Catholicism, learn something, instead of wondering why I chose this religion and kind of making me feel like I need to pick something different. Be happy that I've even found God because before this all happened I didn't believe. Be proud of me in that aspect and don't patronize me for my beliefs. I'm sure none of you are trying to do that, but that is exactly how I feel. Sorry, I don't see myself being a baptist, or Jewish, or Mormon.

Catholicism is beautiful to me. The rituals are beautiful. The prayers are beautiful. Mass makes me feel so much better about myself than anything else I have ever done in my life. Isn't that enough? Stop questioning me why I'm doing what I'm doing like it's a bad thing. Just stop.

Be happy that I'm doing this for myself. I'm more than happy to answer any questions you may have, in fact, I welcome the questions. I would love to teach you the beauty of my denomination. I would love to show you how amazing it could be to go to Mass and be filled with the love of the Spirit every day. Just, please, think before you ask anything that will be construed as rude.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

College.. Is it worth it?

It's been a really long time. This is what happens when you start a full time job and become an adult I guess?

You know, I really have to question what my college degree is going to help me accomplish.. I'm not going to quit, believe me I'm way too close to finishing for that, but I'm just kind of curious. I have a fantastic job right now, in the field that I want to work in for the rest of my life. Did I need my degree for that? Nope.

I know a bachelor's in psychology doesn't do much if anything.. it just really looks good on paper. Is that why I'm spending the government's money and learning stuff that I don't necessarily care for? Just to look good on paper? I don't know. I think I'm just tired of being in school. I've been in school since I was about 5 years old.

This has been non stop. I really just want a break. I'm going to be going back to school as soon as I graduate from UNT this summer or this fall, but maybe I should take a year off and just concentrate on working?

I don't know. Just a thought.

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Why should I go around being afraid of everything in life?

Today in class, we talked about rape and it's stats. That's some terrifying stuff.. Not even kidding. That being said, I don't feel like it's fair that I have to go throughout my life being paranoid of getting raped or, god forbid, murdered.

Why is our culture so accepting of this and want to point the finger at the victim? Why?

It's not fair to anyone. As a woman, I should be able to wear what I want and do as I please, but I can't. I can't wear anything "too revealing" in fear someone will decide to take advantage. I don't go to parties because I don't want to get drunk around people I don't know. I can't walk alone too late at night in case there is someone lurking in the shadows to cause me harm. (Although, you are JUST as likely to get raped at anytime during the day as well as late night/early morning.) I carry mace with me everywhere I go as a just in case precaution. I have to be aware of my surroundings at ALL times since there is no telling who will do what to me.

This is slightly ridiculous and not fair. I shouldn't fear anyone or anything. I shouldn't be so paranoid, but I am. Sure, there are some sick people in the world, and chances of me meeting them are kind of slim, but god forbid I do and I'm not prepared for it. God forbid, I get drunk at a party and can't consent to sex. I WILL get blamed. Yes there are people out there who don't victim blame and I want to thank them ALL personally. It's a beautiful thing when people stop blaming the victim when 9 times out of 10 it is NOT their fault. Not in the slightest.

I don't know. There's something wrong with us as a society if we victim blame. It's disgusting, and we should really start to evaluate things.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

I don't usually touch on politics, but...

I think it should be pretty obvious that I take a very liberal stance on things. I believe in rights for all human beings. All of them. I believe in pro-choice because while I may never intend to get an abortion, I should have a fucking right to get one if I so damn well please. It's not the governments right to tell someone who they should love, or that they should carry an unwanted baby to full term. There are loads of kids in need of homes who are orphans. Loads.

That being said, I really wish the government would stay the hell out of MY vagina. It is by default, my property, and I don't appreciate them telling me what I can and cannot do with it. That would be like me telling them what to do with their penises. I mean, seriously?

They also don't have a right to take away my birth control or planned parenthood. I'm on the pill. It's expensive. I would quite like it if my insurance paid for it. I have several medications that I have to pay for, and thank goodness I have a mother who can help me out when need be otherwise I would kind of owe my soul to the pharmaceutical companies. Most women don't have that luxury. Also, being sexual active I've bought my fair share of condoms, and those are even more expensive then my birth control pills. I've been on birth control since I was 16. I didn't use it for contraception in the first place. I needed it for medical reasons.

I would really just appreciate it if people took their religious views out of the government rulings and the like. While I may not believe in god, if I did, I feel like he would be so ashamed of how the government is treating their own fellow beings. Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't Christians/whatever religion you choose basically supposed to treat one another better? Aren't they supposed to love one another and not treat another human being like shit?

We're all humans, and we're all different. That's what makes the human species so beautiful. We all have different beliefs and fall in love differently and live our lives differently. I'm sorry but I think god would want us to love one another and not attempt to chastise anyone for who they loved and he definitely wouldn't take away anyone's rights as a human being. I'm just sayin'.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Horror Movies Sexist?

Here's some important things you should probably know about me.
1) I'm a vegan.
2) I'm a feminist.
3) I reallllllllllllllllly love me some horror movies.

That being said, I don't think horror movies are sexist. Sure, we get to some naked chicks getting murdered, but hey, I love tits as much as the next person (I know, I'm not sure how I'm single either) and I think we should all just embrace the fact that there's a lot of sex, naked people, and some awesome ass gore in horror movies.

I know some of them are a little over the top, but that's okay. If you don't like them, don't watch them. This applies to anything. If you don't like (insert whatever thing you hate), then don't associate with it. Seriously. It's as easy as that. It really is. I promise.

I was raised on horror movies, and aside from you know, rooting for the killer or whatever, I turned out alright. I don't accept the murder of animals, I want nothing more than for all of humans to have the same rights because we are simply human, and I'm pretty dang good at the whole school thing. Honestly, I think I'd be pretty boring if my mom hadn't taken the chance and raised me on horror. She, of course, watched the movies before I did to make sure there wasn't any overt sex or nudity, and if there was I either wasn't allowed to watch it, or she just fast forwarded through them. (oh, how I miss VHS's.)

All of that being said, she was a pretty damn good parent. She pushed me to my limits grade wise, and she raised me to not be so judgmental of others. That's the problem with parent's nowadays, they don't really parent and then they get up in a tizzy because their child has made a bad grade, or they watched a movie that was inappropriate for them. Once that's happened, it's never their fault, it's always someone else's. It's a little ridiculous.

Anyway, I got off on a tangent there. Obviously being a feminist I should probably think that horror movies exploit women and all of that stuff, but I just can't bring myself to look at it that way. I really can't. Blame it on my love of horror movies, I'm okay with that, but I will always be the first to say that horror movies aren't sexist. Sorry.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Being in the south means be called ma'am, deal with it.

About a week ago in my woman's psych class, (I know, I know, I hear you complaining already) we were discussing how here in the south waitresses/waiters are likely to call you ma'am, sugar, baby, honey, hon, etc. Personally, I see nothing wrong with this considering we ARE in the south and if you were born/raised here you learn to say ma'am/sir and the sweet talk just kind of comes with that territory.

I call people for my current job and 99.9% of the time we're calling other people in Texas. That being said, I get called ma'am, A LOT. It used to bother me until I brought it up to my mom who said, "Danielle, seriously? They're just being polite.", then I realized that we kind of are in the south and I was raised the exact same way.

Even if I don't live in the south when I'm older, have my children, etc, etc, I'll be teaching them to say yes ma'am/no ma'am, yes sir/no sir cause it's just polite. It's definitely a whole 'nother world to go somewhere and not be called ma'am or not to even use it. Not using it is kind of a joke, I don't think I've ever, you know, not intentionally not said it.

Anyway, back to what I was saying, if you're in the south you kind of have to get used to it. People are going to call you sweet names. It happens. I know I'd rather be called ma'am to miss any day.

P.S. if this blog post doesn't make much sense, blame it on my sickness. I'm currently laying in bed where I have been all day with the exception of taking a test that I didn't study for. I hate feeling sickly. :( Please send good vibes my way you lovely, lovely people.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Why does everyone assume I need to be in a relationship to be happy?

With it being Valentine's Day, I feel the need to address this. It's been getting on my nerves for a while, and I would just really appreciate it if everyone would see where I was coming from.

Since the boyfriend and I broke up, I don't necessarily see the point of me ever being in a major, serious relationship. I used to have to be with someone to be happy. I couldn't make myself happy and I would just go from relationship to relationship. This was especially true in high school, and I know I hurt some of you out there, and I'm sorry. I was just always looking for something better.

When I was 17 I suddenly found that everyone I was interested in just didn't want anything serious with me. It was the same story every time. We would be in the talking stages, you know, getting to know one another when all of a sudden I was dropped like  a hot potato. Cue the trust problems and daddy issues, folks!

That all being said, this happened for three years. That was plenty of time for me to focus on making myself happy, doing whatever I wanted, and just being the beautiful, strong, independent lady that I am. Then, le boyfriend happened, and it's kind of amazing how quickly I reverted to depending on him for my happiness. So you can kind of just imagine how bloody upset I was when he decided we shouldn't be together anymore. Yeah, independent Danielle had just kind of left the building for about 5 months, and I reallllllly needed her to come back.

She DID come back after I decided to go vegan, rearranged ALL of my furniture in my apartment alone, and just realised that I was about a million times better off. As I said in my first blog post, I'm not bitter, the ex and I are still really close, like, we talk more than we did when we were together.

Anyway, this is all beside the point I want to make. I, personally, am much happier outside of a relationship where I don't depend on anyone to make me happy. That being said, I don't see myself getting married, in fact, I don't really want to get married; I just want a really damn pretty ring (which I can provide for myself one day), and to be able to wear a pretty dress and have everyone stare at me (haha). Seriously though, every time I bring this up to someone they ALL say, "Oh, you'll find someone, one day. Don't give up now, you're too young."

Ex-fucking-scuse me.

I'm "giving up" because I don't want to spend the rest of my life with someone? I'm "too young" to make this kind of life altering decision? I make life altering decisions every single day. I'm not "giving up", I'm deciding that I'm better than losing my independence and happiness to be with someone. I'll find someone? I'M NOT LOOKING FOR ANYONE!

I much prefer to live alone, pay my own bills, and support myself. As to having children? That's going happen when I can financially and emotionally support another living human being that will be dependent on me for at least 18 years of its life. I don't need a significant other to have or raise a baby. I can do that on my own when I'm good a ready to.

Me choosing to be single for the rest of my life more than most likely doesn't mean I'm giving up, or that I'm too cynical. I just don't want to be with anyone. I would much rather you ALL support my decision instead of telling me that I'll find someone. That makes me mad and makes me think that you think too less of me to be able to live my life alone and independently.

Okay, I'm off my soapbox I think. I hope everyone has a good Valentine's Day, even though I don't really think this should be a holiday. Love everyone everyday, not just one day a year.

Monday, February 13, 2012

Society, we have a srs problem.

I'm currently blogging this from my iPhone so I'll upload links and stuff when I'm near my computer.

Anyway, today I stumbled upon a tumblr post stating they don't know which is sadder, people who don't know who Paul McCartney is or women stating they would let Chris Brown beat them. That's kind of a no brained to me. Those who don't know who Sir McCartney is clearly don't know how to use google, but those ladies are serious just because Chris Brown is "sexy, attractive, etc, etc".

This is a HUGE problem ladies. You have more self worth than to let some nasty ass woman beater to beat the shit out of you. Excuse the somewhat harsh language, but he shouldn't even have a career in my opinion. After what he did to Rihanna he should have been shunned from music indefinitely. We are sending our girls the wrong message. We're telling everyone "hey, it's okay to beat the shit out of your girlfriend. You'll still have a career!", that's disgusting.

Reading all those tweets about how these ladies would let Chris Brown beat them is just something I can't wrap my brain around. Hitting another human being, especially a woman, is NEVER okay. NEVER. I don't care what your personal feelings are towards Rihanna saying that, god forbid, "she deserved it", makes you just as guilty as Chris Brown was in hitting her.

There's never an acceptable to reason to lay a hand on a lady. NEVER EVER. There's never a reason to victim blame either. Who are you to say that someone deserved to get beat up? Woman are several victims of abuse everyday, whether it be by their husbands, boyfriends, fathers, mothers, or just someone they trust there's no reason for this. Some of these ladies are too afraid to leave the abusive situation, which can lead to them being murdered. Is that okay? No.

Society we need to wake up and treat our women better. We need to wake up and see what is happening to them and what potentially could happen. We have to know the signs of an abusive relationship and we need to be their strength to get them out of that relationship. They can't do this alone. We also need to teach our girls that it's never okay for someone to lay a hand on you. It's never okay for them to make you believe that you deserve it.

I'm stepping off my soap box for a bit but I'm still REALLY upset about this Chris Brown thing. Seriously. It's time to wake up everyone.

Friday, February 10, 2012

A Little Bit About Me, Etc, Etc

First off, if you haven't gathered yet, I'm a vegan who lives in Texas. Whoa. I know. It's a little weird for me too, you know, being surrounded by barbecue and all. From there I guess what you really need to know is I'm a 21 year old, psychology undergrad in Denton.

I'm going to use this blog as a chance to vent, make shit up, and probably just put off my course work- which is very intensive this semester I might add- so just kind of bear with me. My grammar won't be perfect, but whatever, my blog my rules right?

All that said I suppose I should tell everyone why I'm vegan, or when I became vegan? I don't know ha.

To start, I've been a vegetarian for the past, mmmm... 9 months I think? During that time I met a boy, fell in love, and got dumped. I won't go into details because I'm not upset anymore and I kind of see him as a best friend than anything else I suppose. Anyway, the night we broke up I couldn't sleep so I just made coffee and decided to stay up all night and make good use of my iTunes gift cards I received for Christmas (thank you Aunt Judy and Rachel!) and I bought a vegan book. I bought "Vegan Freak..." by Bob and Jenna Torres and I must say it has opened my eyes A LOT.

I was eating cheese during my vegetarianism but once I learned what is in it and what makes us like it so much, I knew I had to cut it out. Seriously, that shits gross. Anyway, I'm not here to lecture anyone and be all "you NEED to be vegan, blah, blah, blah" because frankly, it's disrespectful and I wouldn't want you doing that to me.

That being said I have been crackcheese free since January 21, and I honestly, couldn't be happier. I'm proud of myself for coming this far and as much as I would love everyone to stop eating meat, etc, it's really not my place to make anyone do anything.

Of course, I'm here to talk if you have any random questions to ask about said veganism, what it's like living in Texas, you know, just anything.

Til next time. xx